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If You Could
The last repair of the day is done, and Ruiner is setting aside his tools to be cleaned and prepped for the next run. The Constructicons have had their hands busy with upgrades, and as such have generously filled Ruiner's schedule with everything they don't feel like doing (or are too busy to do). This has left the normally footlose and fancy free predator of the intellectual caste playing General Practice Physician. He flops into a chair near the circuit slabs after a particularly long day and mutters to himself. "How the slag did I end up right back in a pit crew fixing busted engines?" Megatron has decided to come to the repair bay and check on Hun-Grr's repairs. The door opens and for a moment a shadow is cast into the room from the massive size and statue of the miner turned revolutionary. He glances around and when his optics rest on Ruiner he smiles just a bit. "Ruiner, just who I wanted to see." Megatron says as he approaches the 'harvester' turned repair tech right now. "What is the status of Hun-Grr? And you look beat." "Sleeping off his artificial stasis lock. He'll be fine once he gets some fuel into him," Ruiner replies. "And yeah, just pulling a long shift. I never honestly thought I'd be doing this again. Not sure how to feel about it." Megatron grabs a chair, puts it next to Ruiner and sits down, "Feel good about it. I need all those that have joined me in top operating condition. You are once again proving how invaluable your services are, Ruiner. "Yeah, but I hated my work," Ruiner vents, legs splayed out, hands folded over his midsection as he looks up at the ceiling. "The IAA turned me into slave to the whims of a bunch of mechs whose only value was going very fast in a circle. Polish my chrome, Wash my tires, Touch up my paint and if I didn't do it fast enough or to their liking, I'd get docked in pay, if I was lucky. Some of the high strung ones would just take a wrench to me." Megatron listens to Ruiner, his face a mask of emotion but his optics are a deep crimson, "Well you're not there now. And you along with anyone that will join me are going to be putting a stop to that. I know full well what its like to be something you don't want to be but you are simply because someone above you who has no right really, says so." he pauses a beat then says, "Is pulling a shift in here got you thinking about this again?" "Actually you are totally to blame for me thinking about all this." It's not said in any tone of blame -- in fact, Ruiner sounds amused. "I was pretty content to just keep hurting bots, putting them through break down just to listen to 'em scream. I figured the enforcers would find me sooner or later and I'd go down in a blaze of glory." He looks over at Megatron. "But now? Now I actually have a reason to maybe be a little more careful and cheat death instead of chasing it." Megatron is taken a bit back by what Ruiner just said. But the falter in his normally stern appearance is brief almost to the point of simply a mind trick to anyone looking at him. "Ruiner, I..." he pauses. Hes never been in a personal situation like this before but slag it this mech is beautiful and he likes him. He likes everything about him and Ruiner seems to like him for just the way he is. This was not something he could have anticipated in a million decavorns. "I dont want you to change the way you are but... you realize someone does care for you now. I don't want that to be what takes you down. Rather what builds you stronger." "And I don't want to weigh you down or make you vulnerable," Ruiner adds. He laughs, half heartedly, and looks back at the wall now. "Believe me I know what the stakes are, what things are like in this place. It's a mesh-market, you show weakness and the retrorats will chew through you as fast as they can get to you. I just... I dunno. Sometimes it's harder to live than to die." "Then never take it personally how I treat you in public." Megatron says but he knows Ruiner is right. Ruiner is his weak spot and he cant deny it. Hes also not sure right now just how neutral he'd react if he saw something happen to Ruiner. Could he keep how he'd feel on the inside from showing on the outside? To show weakness is indeed to show vulnerability and its an open door to be terminated at the first opportunistic mechs chance. But something his beautiful destroyer said catches him, "Harder to live then die?" he thinks on the reclaiming 'clinics' hes only recently found out about and looks at Ruiner with concern, "You only mean that as a figure of speech in relation to our relationship I presume." He shakes his head no, sitting up, but leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "No, I meant that for myself in general. It was easier for me to just court death. Not worry about the future - I mean, why plan for anything but fun when you know you're gonna die any time? But now... now I have to work on my slag. Now there's something more than myself to think about, to fight for, so... I have to put up with the pain of living." "And don't worry about what you have to do in public, I'm not going to take it personal. We have roles to play, so you do what you need to do, and I'll be your foot soldier. A genuinely loyal one." Megatron finds himself wanting to touch Ruiner but he doesnt dare. They are in a public place and anyone could walk in here at any moment. Hes not sure what to say. Oh hes good at putting into words the government situation and how it oppresses the masses and its easy to put into words the solution to the probem and get mechs banded together. But matters of the spark hes finding himself unsure. He doesn't like this. He knows what he wants and how to get it but this was not on the radar. "I ... appreciate how you feel. And consider that how you feel goes for me a well." oh he knows he has a lot to live for and has to keep that in mind but with Ruiner that adds to it. He can handle it. "Many would say you are very special to have my affection. Use that as a weapon." "Weapon? No, I don't want to use it as a weapon. I'd rather use it as a good tool - something to help me work on fixing myself, I guess." This makes Ruiner laugh a little more. "Look at you - inspiring a fader like me to keep on living. You know what I think? I think you oughtta be the next Prime. A -real- Prime. Someone who has their spark in the right place and isn't afraid to do what has to be done." Megatron smirks, "That's what I mean, Ruiner. Use it to help yourself." Ruiner's next remark gets him thinking. "I don't need a hollow title to do whats right..." his voice fades as he considers that all he wanted to be was a medic, a poet and now someone thinks he should be a Prime. He thinks back on a comparison he gets sometimes. "Megatronus...what kind of a Prime would he have been?" "Until that giant fembot showed up I didn't even know there -was- a Megatronus Prime. She seems to hold him in high regard though, so I guess if she thinks you measure up, that's a good thing," Ruiner says honestly. The other Primes are mostly forgotten to history, and few even know their names in this day and age. Ruiner was shocked to hear anyone claiming a Prime from a colony world, but kept it to himself. There were more important matters to deal with these days. "... Ruiner isn't the name I was sparked with," he adds, non sequitor. Megatron is curious, "What was your sparked name?" he thinks on the Prime hes nearly named as. He needs to talk to that femme again and find out more. Ruiner vents deeply with a sheepish smile. "Gauge. Just... Gauge." Megatron frowns and wonders outloud a bit, "Gauge. I wonder what that implies. Tell me more about your sparking." "I'm from Perihex - Silver Fields hotspot, I turn into another one of the thousands of other black cars like me that came out of that field, so I wasn't lucky enough to be a rare form. Got trained in frame engineering, did well enough. Specialized in athletic engineering so they transferred me to Ibex. Ended up in the pit crews. The rest is history," Ruiner explained, stymied that anyone's asking him about this. It's so normal it's boring. "A gauge is just a tool. You use it measure things - distance, amount, volume, magnitude - it doesn't do anything special. S'why I changed my name when the cleaners first showed up. I needed money, didn't wanna tell them who I was, show 'em my serial number - so I made up something that sounded dangerous. Kinda guy you don't want to mess around with. That was that." Megatron listens with interest to Ruiner's backstory. "I was one of man other mining vehicles so I can relate to being one of so many of the same." He adds quietly, "Tarn is where I am from. I like you was not rare, not special -- my intellect was ignored. I counted for nothing. My sole purpose in life as I was told was to work the mines and be thankful for what my alternate mode offered me in this society." "All things equal, what did you want to do with your life?" Ruiner asks Megatron, sitting up a little straighter now. Megatron says quietly, "I wanted to be a medic and a poet. And you? A racer?" "Ha!" Ruiner's laugh sounds a little desperate, so it's definitely not aimed at Megatron. "You know what? I don't -know-. I don't know what I'd be, I just kind of accepted that I didn't have a choice and I hated what I had to do. I never allowed myself to think about what I /could/ have been because it was just false hope. Might as well be leaking in the wind." He drums his fingers on the casing of his right thigh. "I may not know what I want out of life but ... you want to know how to be a medic? I can teach you. Get you through the basics, because if we're marching to war, you're gonna need to know how to take care of yourself. Know which medic is lying to your face about what he's done to you, and which one is telling the truth." "You would teach me?" Megatron asks. Here's a chance to learn about what he wanted to be. "Very well. Perhaps I can help you figure out what you wanted to be along the way." He stands suddenly, "But not this cycle, you seem fed up with it. The Arena is down for tonight but I feel like walking around -- see what the sentiment is on street right now." he looks at Ruiner as if to say 'come with me'. Ruiner is glad to get up and out of the area. He's forcing himself to adjust, but he'll need a break now and again. "Sounds like a plan. Lead the way, Lord Megatron." He grins skewly, acknowledging his public role.